How to wing Best Delegate at ChoMUN (II)

Back by popular demand, secretariat is here to give you the lowdown on ChoMUN's trendiest MUN tactics.

This winning tid-bit has to do with food. The Holiday Eeeen is very proud of their hideous new carpets. They apparently paid a middle-rate interior decorator who couldn't kick it with legit hotel chains to come in and vomit all over the conference area. That being said, they really don't want anyone to spill food on their cheesy fake-marble foyer or their budget brown and orange 1970's carpet. Unless, of course, it is their own burnt maxwell house coffee, mealy apples, or styrofoam bagels. If you want to be best delegate, and you see someone eating outside food, you should repremand that person in front of the chair. An exemplary reprimand sounds something like this: "Please dispose of your dunkin donuts pizza!! In the first place, you're not allowed to eat in here. Second, do you REALLY the extra 2000 calories? Third, when the FUCK did dunkin donuts decide to make pizza? This is wrong on so many levels, you should probably go hang out with your trashy, DD Pizza-Eating cronies someplace where you will not destroy the delicate balance of Holiday Eeenn decor."

On second thought, a surefire way of winning best delegate would be to not eat or drink anything at all throughout the entirety of the conference. Yes, whoever stages the most legit hunger strike will be awarded Best Delegate at ChoMUN XI.

Ms Wall - another person

Name: Amanda Jean Wall
Her Hair: Uses 99cent CVS brand shampoo and cuts her own hair, making her bathroom kinda gross
Her Awesomeness: Actually wrote her background entire paper within 24 hours of being assigned it
Likes: Music that was written before her time, her psychotic roommates who punch holes in the walls and repeat the same phrases over and over, and chicken nuggets.
Roles: Chair - Algeria

Top Five Ways to Please ChoMUN Secretariat

5. Talk about how you would like to model your life (and conference) after our lives (and conference). Ask for a conference t-shirt and mug.

4. Shake the hand of the Chief of Staff. Repeatedly.

3. Explain to the CFO the proper way to use her camera. Bonus points if you tell her what she could have done better to "get the shot". Speak clearly and slowly, as she is a small brown girl, and may not understand you.

2. Ask Secretariat members where your committee room is before checking the map in your delegate guide. Not after. Before. Oh....it's directly in front of you? LOLZ.

1. Come on shake your body baby do that Conga. No, you can't control yourself any longa.

Know your peeps v.inf

Who he is: Fishman
What he does: Chairs Charles V
Physical Description: Hair, golden locks
Origin: The Bay Area
Reason for awesomeness: Dude, look at his hair (plus unlike 95% of staffers can grow facial hair)

Rocking the vote.

The DNC at work, with a clear Obama bias (A good thing).

Dinner After First Session

"I am tired of emails saying that they will cure my small penis. Because I do not have one."
-Name withheld for protective purposes.

More Fame! Northside Edition!

Name: Frances E Low.
Likes: Free market economics
Dislikes: John Maynard Keynes and his academic kin
Other dislikes: Slows, lakeshore drive's 45 MPH speed limit
Rumored secret past: Anti-labor strike breaker.