Saturday, March 8, 2008

How to wing Best Delegate at ChoMUN (II)

Back by popular demand, secretariat is here to give you the lowdown on ChoMUN's trendiest MUN tactics.

This winning tid-bit has to do with food. The Holiday Eeeen is very proud of their hideous new carpets. They apparently paid a middle-rate interior decorator who couldn't kick it with legit hotel chains to come in and vomit all over the conference area. That being said, they really don't want anyone to spill food on their cheesy fake-marble foyer or their budget brown and orange 1970's carpet. Unless, of course, it is their own burnt maxwell house coffee, mealy apples, or styrofoam bagels. If you want to be best delegate, and you see someone eating outside food, you should repremand that person in front of the chair. An exemplary reprimand sounds something like this: "Please dispose of your dunkin donuts pizza!! In the first place, you're not allowed to eat in here. Second, do you REALLY the extra 2000 calories? Third, when the FUCK did dunkin donuts decide to make pizza? This is wrong on so many levels, you should probably go hang out with your trashy, DD Pizza-Eating cronies someplace where you will not destroy the delicate balance of Holiday Eeenn decor."

On second thought, a surefire way of winning best delegate would be to not eat or drink anything at all throughout the entirety of the conference. Yes, whoever stages the most legit hunger strike will be awarded Best Delegate at ChoMUN XI.

Ms Wall - another person

Name: Amanda Jean Wall
Her Hair: Uses 99cent CVS brand shampoo and cuts her own hair, making her bathroom kinda gross
Her Awesomeness: Actually wrote her background entire paper within 24 hours of being assigned it
Likes: Music that was written before her time, her psychotic roommates who punch holes in the walls and repeat the same phrases over and over, and chicken nuggets.
Roles: Chair - Algeria